Baby Boom Gets a Name


Much of the K&F world has been holding its breath for the reveal of Baby Boom’s actual given name. Those who have not yet passed out can now learn that this beautiful poop-machine has been named Vernon – or Vern for short. When asked why this name was chosen, isme commented, “Vernon had the best meaning of the names we liked. It means ‘place of Alder trees’ & ‘flourishing’ & has Druid significance.” Alder tree bark is rumored to be metabolized into salicylic acid in the body. A close source informs us that the alcohol group of this acid can react with acetic acid to form aspirin. That’s some baby!

What has been Vern been up to, you ask? Well, thus far he has mastered the art of bubble blowing and flying off knees. Stay tuned for more of his accomplishments! This reporter foresees this bald, blanket-loving bundle of joy being the spokesperson for aspirin one day, but not until age 12 in the US or 16 in the UK. The K&F community sends a hearty hello to Vern and welcomes him with open arms. Know wut I mean?