Douche! is Love


    TRONA, CA:  Viewers eagerly tuned in to the special Tuesday night Spreecast hosted by Douche! the Monkey, which was promoted as “Douche! Tells All!” on Spreecast and Twitter. The program, marred somewhat by Spreecast’s notoriously poor sound, lasted 7 minutes and 38 seconds and featured three segments.  A new logo for the DNN Hate Crew was displayed, and the show began with the official video for “Safety Dance”, the 1983 pop and MTV hit by Canadian band Men Without Hats (with whom former Kermit and Friends and DNN contributor Jason Deeh Pitre briefly played, in a later incarnation of the group).  This was followed by an upbeat, poppy video featuring the song “Feeling Good” by Michael Bublé, which served as a title segment for the show.  New graphics displayed the positive lyrics, and announced the show title as The Douche Variety Show with a teaser stating “coming soon to Spreecast”.

    Douche telling all.
    Douche telling all.

    The remaining 2:49 of the show was the heart of yesterday’s message, which crawled as text along the bottom of the screen as a video of waves breaking upon rocks on the shore played. In the video, which garnered a solid 1300+ impressions, Douche did in fact tell “all”, with the text of the video displayed below.  Unlike recent characterizations of and speculation about the man behind the monkey that suggested him to be “sick”, “criminal”, “twisted”, or “Jason Deeh Pitre”, his ultimate message is one that is positive and upbeat, and is a message that more than one person (and perhaps one person in particular) around “town” should probably heed:


    Hi! What were you expecting, more drama? When have the titles of shows had anything to do with the content? Have you hugged someone today? Have you challenged yourself at all? Go outside, close your eyes and take a deep breath of life… take a walk in a park, drive to see trees, run over a squirrel… do anything as long as it is outdoors and as far from internet access as possible. This microverse has beaten you down. The fun has long gone, only to be replaced with jealousy, insecurity and paranoia… Does anyone remember laughter? The only enemy is the one staring at you in the mirror every morning. Be nice so nice things will happen…. This is the Honest and Frank Show with your host Honest Frank…….. Seriously, lighten up buttercup…. Find the fun or find another outlet…. Smoochies, your pal Douche!

    Stay tuned for any more developments regarding Douche! and the Douche Variety Show, right here in the DNN Tribune!