HONEST FRANK HANGS UP HIS CAPE? Crusader for “Good” Abandons Show, Campaign

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MASTIC BEACH, NY:  Struggling Spreecast fixture and future Presidential candidate Honest Frank has announced his retirement from hosting his marginally popular Honest and Frank show and has withdrawn his candidacy for President in a stunning series of Tweets on Sunday.  He then backpedaled on Monday morning, claiming that he would still host the sparsely-viewed Honest and Frank Workout Show, The caped crusader, whose mission to do good (except for Jews) has defined his persona for years, has had a rough few months since experiencing a health scare in December.  He has also been struggling with low ratings and an on-again off-again feud with Spreecast’s Kermit and Friends host Elisa Jordana.  He recently went on a blocking rampage, blocking on Twitter nearly every conceivable viewer to his show.

“I decided Not to perform any Operations or fight for what’s Right or start my Charity or run for President of the United States of America!”, the star-spangled Spreecaster wrote, using idiosyncratic capitalization. Frank expressed frustration that his repetitive message to “Be good like me” was failing to gain him wider acceptance, and he suggested that such efforts were making him even more unpopular.  “No matter How I try to get people to be Good for their Own Good, it doesn’t Work and it only makes them hate me so I’m not going to bother.”

A very drunken Agent Mud tears into Frank.
A very drunken Agent Mud tears into Frank.

His change of heart apparently began with a scuffle with Agent Mud on Spreecast’s victoria/katie webcast, although Frank had been acting erratically in recent weeks. An extremely inebriated Agent Mud slurred a joke about sending the police to Frank’s place to search his hard drives for illicit material.  Mud also accused Frank of encouraging an underaged girl to strip on camera, a charge Frank denied. Frank also said there is nothing illicit on his computer.  Mud also accused Frank of running a fake charity, which Frank also denied.  Mud spent the better part of half an hour hurling one accusation after another, putting Frank on the defensive.

In response, via Twitter, Frank asserted “Agent Mud’s NOT the GOODNESS of GOD after he was trying to get me in TROUBLE at [Spreecast]”  He also shared some candid thoughts via Twitter about the state of his own sanity. “Being Bullied is too Depressing and make me Unhappy and make me do things I normally wouldn’t Do!” he wrote, going so far as to admit, “I’m actually CRYING now…SERIOUSLY!”

However, as of Monday morning it appeared Frank’s darkest hour had passed.  Sounding more chipper, he announced, “I will be doing shows like The Honest And Frank Workout Show at but without all that Preaching!”  However, he also vowed to file a report of “cyber bullying” against him, naming  as the culprit.  Frank said he has proof and will press charges, but he did not elaborate further on the nature of the bullying.

Stay tuned to DNN for further developments, if unfolding events warrant an update.

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