“LAST THIRTEEN” RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCED!! Feature Film Stars Christopher Dick!


HOLLYWOOD CA:  DNN’s long-anticipated first feature length motion picture has entered post-production and a release date has been scheduled, according to insiders at the media conglomerate.  The film, which is now entitled Last Thirteen, will debut on DNN’s Streaming Website at 8:00PM EST on Saturday, January 9, 2016, thus ensuring that it is eligible for 2017 Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations. At present, there are no plans for a re-screening, so those who wish to see what we promise is an entertaining flick are urged to cancel everything this Saturday night and remain glued to the internet.

Much of Last Thirteen was shot on location on December 24rd on the streets of Seattle.  The film was conceived of on December 25th on the southbound 101 Freeway somewhere between Ventura and Oxnard.  The preliminary trailer was released on December 26th. Writing and time-stamping, editing, music, and additional dialog took place in the week that followed.  While the big boys like to keep independent outfits like DNN down, the filmmakers used the limited resources at their disposal to piece together a compelling story of deception, delusion, degradation, and despair.  It is a film that DNN hopes will speak to a wider audience, warts and all.

Shot on the streets of Seattle.
Shot on the streets of Seattle.

The film, perhaps ironically, makes Christopher Roy Dick of Federal Way, WA the only Kermiteer to star in his own movie.  This irony was not lost on Seederman, who, when asked for comment, shrugged and said, “Meh.  Every yin has its yang. Here’s another irony: we see the story that Chris keeps missing, a story that needs to be told”  Elisa Jordana also stars as herself, with cameos by numerous familiar faces.   However Seederman is also quick to add, “This is a real movie, not a collection of clips.  We took our subject matter very seriously, and spared no effort to make it work as a movie.  We think it is a must see for anyone involved in the new social media of webcamming, or those curious about its seamy underbelly.” DNN’s anchorman, Jeff M, provides narration, while the haunting score features the work of Jason Deeh Pitre, as well as a song by Krystal.

The Executive Producer and Editor/Visual Effects/Soundtrack master, relaxing after a hard day of editing.
The Executive Producer and Editor/Visual Effects/Soundtrack master, relaxing after a hard day of editing.

Douche! the Monkey did the editing and visual effects.  Clear Cider Studios provided additional material.  Elko Tron assisted with research, and Kelly Fox did something too, maybe Douche! knows what it was.  The film came in under its $60 budget, with most of it spent on pizza, bananas, and one banana pizza.

This is not the only feature length film in DNN’s pipeline.  A new documentary on another fascinating individual on the periphery of the Kermit world, but not wholly in it, is tentatively scheduled for February.  DNN remains mum on further information regarding this project.

A new trailer was released earlier this evening.