Review Of The Boultons “Kareoke Test”


The fine folks at DNN asked me if I could review a blab put on by Mr. Karaoke, John Boulton. Giving yourself a name like Mr. Karaoke leads me to believe the performances will be of professional quality. I know very little of Mr. Karaoke, I have heard he runs a Karaoke business. The first warning sign was that Mr. Karaoke gave his blab the title “Kareoke Test”. The first rule of being professional is to know how to spell your name.

Enough with the back story, let’s get right to it…

Margaritaville: Sharp, flat, sharp, flat. In the second verse he manages to do the impossible and be sharp and flat on the same note.

Sweet Caroline: Out of time, out of tune and just a horrible, uninspired performance. If you are going to bother putting yourself out there then there is no excuse for mailing it in.

Elvira: A disaster from start to finish. His performance starts off way too sharp and only gets worse. His heart seems to be in this one a little more so he will get a bonus point for that.

(Laurie Boulton, daughter)
Burnin’ For You: The daughter takes over while Dad pounds back a tallboy. Dad is filled with crisitisim for his daughter. Her performance starts off timid but gets better as she gains a little confidence. She may not be in key but she is more listenable than dad. John seems to not like the spotlight taken off of him and proceeds to burp into his mic during the song.

Who Will Stop The Rain: Who will stop the massacre of John yelling his way through this CCR classic? I don’t believe in giving any performance a zero so I will adjust my rating system for this song

Desperado: 3 false starts and then more off key yelping. Thankfully there is the child screaming to drown out John.

Stay With Me: Laurie off to a bad start and then the chorus hits and it becomes unlistenable. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

Can’t Help Falling In Love: A mess. The technology they are using doesn’t allow for duets. Their voices don’t either.

kareokeAnother 90 minutes of this? No thanks, I need to tap out right here. The daughter gets a pass as a teen just finding her voice and connecting with dad on the internet. John says he has a Karaoke business. My hope is that he just provides the equipment.

Road Dog is a music industry insider with over 25 years of performing, touring and management experience. Taste is personal, being in key is not.