Supertramp Returns from the Wilderness

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NORTHERN MN:  Rustic woodsman Supertramp, whose sudden meltdown surrounding avocados and Halloween both shocked and titillated viewers, made a solid return to Kermit and Friends on Wednesday, sounding polite and wiser from his experience.  It was a classy re-entry, displaying none of the rancor or spite so common in such circumstances, and the wilderness-braving Supertramp appears to have been welcomed back to the Kermit Family with no hard feelings.

Casting from the cozy confines of his parents’ living room, Supertramp, sporting a neatly-trimmed beard, calmly and articulately disclosed that he lives with bi-polar disorder, and had been in a manic state fueled with alcohol when he flipped out on Elisa Jordana, Benjy Bronk, and isme boom.  He explained that he had taken time-out from Twitter and the show in order to clean himself up and clear his mind.  It was an honest moment that cast the modern-day Grizzly Adams in the best possible light.

Predictably, pathological liar and former convict Christopher Roy Dick, greeted this heartwarming and inspiring return of an old friend to the show by accusing the affable Supertramp of being a liar.  Supertramp obligingly showed the fat blowhard his medication. Softballing host Elisa Jordana appeared ready to challenge Dirtbag Dick on his accusation, but the crafty conman quickly distracted her with a Muppet puppet, evading the question once again.

Dense Dick, who is functionally illiterate, also misinterpreted Supertramp’s nickname.  The name “Supertramp” is not derived from the 1970’s UK pop-prog band of the type the out-of-it psuedo-salesman enjoys.  “Supertramp” is a reference to the late wilderness-seeker Chris McCandless, subject of the biography and film, “Into the Wild”.  The doomed McCandless was another young man who dreamed of self-sustenance in the wild, and was known for his honesty and candor, as well as his naïveté.

However, only Cretinous Chris tossed a turd into the punchbowl during Supertramp’s visit. The rest of it was fun and informative.  From this appearance, we learned that Supertramp is clean, via warm showers at his parents’ house or sponge baths in his Tiny House.  He also makes his own deodorant from natural ingredients.  In all, it was learning experience for all (except Dumbass Dick) and a genial visit with the outdoorsman.  We hope to see more of him.

Chris

Chris “Supertramp” McCandless, shortly before he starved to death in 1992.

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