NEW YORK, NY Among the surprise guests on the Chris Dick Birthday Spectacular, on the popular Spreecast program Kermit and Friends, was a composed and rational seeming woman with a futuristic name, Elko Tron. Dick, notoriously bad with names and words with two syllables, was unable to place the affable Tron. Ordinarily, such confusion stems from an inordinate and unsafe amount of viewing of old Kermit episodes out of sequence. However, in this case, viewers themselves may have shared Dingbat Dick’s confusion. The mousy Tron was making only her third appearance on Kermit and Friends. And yet, she came across as a “regular”. Who is this woman of mystery?
Adding to the enigma was her appearance: wearing sunglasses and a big floppy hat adorned with a special DNN-issued, JeffM-model foil antenna; relaxed, self-assured, soft-spoken but never reticent. She offered sound advice to Chris on how to lose weight (El Blimpo Supreme ignored the advice and says he is considering the often dangerous lazy man’s option: getting his stomach stapled). Tron encouraged Baby Huey to be “proactive”, and came clean about her position as DNN’s librarian, which barely registered with Dense Dick.
A little research into Enigmatic Elko’s background revealed a surprising coincidence. All three of her appearances have been on Kermit and Friends birthday celebrations. “Happy Birthday Ian!!!”, webcast on May 9, 2015, and “Happy Birthday Me”, webcast on June 30, 2015 were her previous two appearances. On Ian’s show, we first catch a glimpse of Elko in a party hat, as we come out of an Eytan Mirsky/Sugar Tallerino song (Eytan is surprised to see Elko is a woman). Elko reveals she is holding a Cookie Monster puppet, which elicits a shriek of joy from host Elisa Jordana. Tron never even gets more than a word or two out, as the songs keep coming, but she is fully present, bobbing and waving the puppet to the music. Tron’s second appearance, on Jordana’s own birthday show, opens with her in sunglasses and a shoulder-baring top. She says she’d like to say something about Benjy, but is interrupted by the hijinx of Jason Deeh Pitre. Pitre is eventually brushed aside and Elko gets her comment out. She then departs, as Jordana comments “Very mysterious, that Elko Tron”
Mysterious indeed, that Elko Tron; even the DNN newsteam is stumped. A DNN insider remarked “I’ve never seen anyone who could alphabetize faster than she can, and she is a time stamping artist”, which raises more questions than it answers.
Tron did make one more uncredited appearance on the show, her most mysterious and controversial of all, the secrets of which the Tribune will uncover, as soon as we have followed every lead.